This past Sunday our fabulous pastor gave a sermon on being content. He spoke on Philippians 4:10-23. The main verse teaching us how to be content being 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength). In the sermon he asked us to give ourselves a number 1-10 on how content we were. Then asked us what could happen that day to make the number go up (I of course thought of obedient children, wonderful naps, no temper tantrums....) Then he asked us what could happen to make the number go down. My thoughts of course were (temper tantrums, no naps, bad attitudes, whining, yelling, exhaustion, morning sickness, vomiting... trust me the list went on) The point was that life shouldn't affect me so much. Sure it's going to, I am sinful. I am fallen and life does affect me. Jake and I talked on the way home from church as we often do discussing our contentment and where we fail. It was a good talk. Funny thing is, I NEVER expected that sermon to come back and smack me upside the head 8 ways over by TUESDAY! Today has been a bitter sweet day. We woke up to the very sad news that our dear friend lost her child at around 21 weeks. Thankful for our twins and knowing I was having a sonogram appointment later in the day we lifted our dear friends up in prayer. I had a busy day of running around, nothing new here. I was at the appointment and they asked if we wanted to know the gender of the babies. I said yes but don't tell me I want to call my husband on the phone. I watch closely as she scanned the babies. I could have sworn I knew the gender of one of them. The other, well it was questionable. Before I go on, let me say that both babies look good, healthy and practically perfect in every way :-) The dr. came, told me to call Jake and gave us the news. Two babies, same gender! Both boys! I say with great hesitation that Jake and I were praying for at least 1 girl! I say it with hesitation because I don't EVER want my children to think I didn't want them! I love my boys, they are awesome but I am not going lie, I was terribly sad. So was Jake. I struggled for the next hour with fighting back the tears to sobbing to being very angry with a God whom I thought knew my hearts desires. I texted Jake asking for prayers and as I did the sermon from Sunday came flooding back. I have SO much to be thankful for and in that how can I allow my contentment with life lie in the hands of two itty bitty little blessings. Gifts! That's what they are!! They are gifts and I was sad because like a small child I didn't get my way and I wanted it my way. My contentment needs to reside in the Lord because any other placement is failure. It's bound to end badly, in sadness and in heart break. Much too often I allow my contentment to rest on my poor children, on their behavior, the joy they bring me. Let me tell you folks, they let me down daily! My number plumets and I am suddenly in a bad mood. What kind of example is that to my children?!? I am thankful for Sunday. Clearly a sermon I needed more than I thought I did. Clearly one that God has used in a unique way. A lesson I am thankful to have in my heart to lean on and to learn from daily.
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.
So get ready world! The Foulke family will be focusing on raising God fearing men. Men who will be great spiritual leaders. Men that ANY girl would be blessed to marry! Men who serve and love the Lord. And I will be focusing on my contentment level and getting it where it should be, one with Christ and not one with my circumstances.
