not yet!!!

This weekend is our beloved church retreat.  Last year we went and had such a great time.  We were looking forward to it so much this year too.  Our church has been a blessing and a gift to us each and every day we have been with apart of it.  Going to the retreat is just another blessing.  So last month my Dr. told me I needed to come see him the day before we leave so today Jake came with me and off to the Dr. we went.  I had been in some pain over the last week or so but nothing I was too worried about.  Then within the first 5 minutes of the appointment (you know the first 5 min the dr. was in the room, not the first 35 min we sat and waited.)  If this is TMI, sorry, but I think many of you have kids already so here it is.  My cervix is already beginning to shorten and baby A's head is right there ready to come and join the world.  The rest of the appointment was all good news!  Both babies look great, no problems at all and they each weigh 1lb.  When the appointment was over the Dr. asked if there were any questions.  He hadn't mentioned bed rest yet, just the shortening cervix.  So I asked "how likely is it that I will be on bed rest?" His response "very likely"  I said "how soon?" He giggled (he is very nice and I like him a lot) and said "pretty soon" Well, at least he doesn't sugar coat it.  haahhahaa

So this weekend after his advice of taking it easy and resting as much as possible Jake and I decided to it's best to stay home and be safe  At only 22 weeks I have a long road ahead of me keeping these two little boys safe and sound where they belong.  So this weekend I am on self promoted bed rest.  Hoping and praying if I rest enough I can slow things down and not be put on bed rest before the boys start school.  I am also hoping and praying that if I do my part and take it easy enough the bed rest might be moderate for a little while.  I am thinking if I can just get the older two in school things will be easier.  We will see.
It's funny, some days I think bed rest is a dream.  lay in bed and be cared for but it's not my nature.  Ask my husband.  He tells me all the time to sit down, rest, stop doing things.... I don't like not being a fully functioning member of my family.  I don't like sitting on the sidelines, I never have.  As a child athlete I would fight to be a starter, to stay in the game, to win!  I still have that drive but sadly an unnatural to me my fight is to stay in bed and rest.  My win is keeping these babies safe and sound for 15 more weeks!

I am sad but thankful.  JT came with no warning at all and I was never put on bed rest.  Never given the chance to fight for him.  Now is my chance to fight for these two monkeys inside me.  Pray that  I would fight the good fight.  That I would do whats best for them and not give into my own selfish desires.  Pray they make it a very very very long time.

Thanks for your prayers, I am praying without ceasing.  I appreciate your love support and prayers!!! Pray for my wisdom too.  Thanks!!!

post op now?!??

Today I received a packet on my pre op instructions.  This came as a bit of a surprise since I am not having surgery until January!  I am almost 20 weeks pregnant and still working on carrying these twins while growing exponentially every night it seems.  So many of these things need to be done "as soon as possible" which I kind of find surprising.  I feel like things could change between now and then.  I also have to get permission to continue medications, vitamins... I feel a bit taken off guard and a bit overwhelmed.  I mean, it's summer!  I am trying to enjoy the last month with my boys before they head back to school and I begin to nest for our newest family additions.  This is kind of a big fat reality check I wasn't expecting until, I don't know, January!  Oh well, better to be safe than sorry.  So, tomorrow I will be making more phone calls, scheduling more appointments and getting geared up for a surgery that is only 6 months away!  HAHAHA!  I can't help but laugh.  I can't believe I have to do all this stuff now!  But whatever, I will do as I am asked to do.  I think it's silly and I hope and pray I don't have to do it again right before surgery, won't that be a waste!
Anyway, just wanted to keep you up to date.  Please pray for my kiddos as we have a rocky road ahead of us.  Pray that the Lord will provide care for my 3 boys now and my 5 boys later as I have surgery and spend time recovering.  Pray for Jake as he will eventually have to take over and manage everything kid and household related.  I know he can do it but it's a job he hasn't had to do before.  It can be overwhelming for me and it's my job! LOL  So, just keep us and our fabulous little boys in your prayers.  Pray for them as they struggle with transition.  Pray for me as I can tend to struggle with fear.  Fear of not making it, fear of leaving my children, fear of losing my voice, fear of my voice changing and my children not knowing my voice.... so many fears.  Pray for my peace and for God's hand to be at work in us and through my doctors.
Thank  you for your faithful prayers.  The Lord hears and we are blessed through them!

In Him,