Sunday, May 17, 2020

All consuming fear.

I’ve stopped updating because honestly something had to go. I regret it because he still needs so many prayers, as do Jake and I. 
Due to covid Jake and I are now JTs PT, OT, ST and everything g else we had help with before. The weight of the world has fallen on us in a time where we need help more than ever! 

Since Covid we’ve made GREAT progress. 
 JT started walking with his Kay walker about 2 weeks ago, which in all honesty is a miracle! 
His fear still so deep. It dictates everything. 
Today he screamed and cried getting in his stander. It’s not always this hard, some days we go through his exercises fairly easily. But today we tried to walk, we wouldn’t/couldn’t even stand up. 
His fear tells him it’s going to hurt. He is screaming not in pain but in anticipation of pain. His fear paralyzes him. My heart aches with each scream and tear but we have to be stronger for him. We can’t let him give up on himself, so we fight the pain in our hearts and we force him to do the scary things. 
I am not sharing these pics on social media, they are to those who love JT deeply and pray for him and for our family. 
We are making progress but it’s slow and hard and painful. 

Please continue to lift him up. Pray for the might of God to consume him! Pray for the fear that dictates his life to calm and settle and for peace to consume him where fear is. 

Pray for Jake and I. The ache in our hearts cuts deep with every tear and moment of fear. 
I wish I could carry this burden for my son, but I can’t.

Thanks all! 
(He’s ok. I just wanted people to understand, this journey isn’t all victories. It’s full of struggles, trials, fear, hard work...)