Joy and laughter

With all we have going on I feel that its important to share and remember the laughter that is in our house. Ethan is such a love and brings us so much joy and laughter. This morning I got Ethan up and we talked for a while. He decided that he needed to give his lally (a lovey) a diaper change. Then he needed to give JT's lally a diaper change. Since we are in the world of pretend play I didn't think much of it. I simply said "oh, ok, that sounds good. They say thank you Ethan" and I went on with heading down stairs to get the day going. Then, from the monitor I heard Ethan say that lally needs lotion. Again, I am thinking it's simply pretend play so I encouraged it. "ok, buddy, put lally's lotion on and then come down for breakfast." then I hear "ok mommy" and a drawer close. Hmmm, so down the stairs Ethan comes. "look mommy, lally has lotion" I take lally and say "oh, that's wonderful", then I take a closer look. "OH! Lally does have lotion, look at that." I run up the stairs to find out what "lotion" Ethan was able to get into. He follows me up and together we search. I checked the lotions that were out and non of them were open, then suddenly I remember hearing a drawer. I open his diaper drawer and YUP! Ethan had grabbed the Vaseline, opened it, put some all over lally, closed it, put it away in the drawer, closed the drawer and came down to breakfast. Needless to say Lally had a bath in the washing machine today!
I love the laughter he brings to my life! I love that the we are so blessed that when I could cry at the mess or the craziness I can laugh. I can love the moment! I can cherish the memory!

Sadly, these stories are daily yet I am so caught up with JT and JT's needs I forget to share these stories. I laugh at them daily but I forget to share them. I am glad to have taken the moment to share the joy that fills our house. Times are hard right now, they are stressful but they are also awesome and full of blessings! We are blessed. I want to remember that! I want to hold onto the funny stories and the smiles in the midst of trials. God is good and we are blessed!

Why me, but not what you think

This past week I found myself humbled in prayer once again. I found myself tempted to ask the infamous "why me God?" in an ever so whiny voice. But instead I found myself asking whole heatedly, "why me God?" Why did you chose me to bear these burdens? I am not worthy of this. I am not sure I can do this. Why didn't you chose someone stronger? Why didn't you chose someone who has more faith? Why did you pick me?" I found his loving answer resounding in my ear "because I Love you! Because through me YOU CAN! Because I am in you and if you lean on me I will do this. You are strong in me sweet Melissa. I Love you and in me, you can!" So, still humbled I am trying to embrace these challenges. The ones of this past week as well as the ones coming in the next few months. Because in Him, I CAN!

Thankful in the midst of trials

This past week JT had his 1 year check up with the pediatrician as well as his neurology appointment. The pediatrician went well. Sadly we were referred to yet another doctor for Justin. A pediatric surgeon. Apparently in premie boys have all sorts of issues. In this case JT's testicles have not fully descended and he will need surgery to bring them down to where they belong. So in a week we will see the doctor and schedule the first of JT's surgeries. Then at the neurology appointment the neurologist recommended that JT be followed by a physical medicine doctor. He will meet this doctor at his first PBI (pediatric brain injury) clinic. This doctor will follow JT and help us determine what other kinds of special needs equipment he might benefit from. (this is along with his physical therapist) We also were told that his kind of cerebral palsy is the harder of the two to treat. He is low tone and it is simply harder to help low tone children than high tone. His neurologist also got the ball rolling for ordering the MRI of his brain. From there we will be able to see if his vision problems are from his original brain injury (the PVL) or if there is more damage to the brain than originally thought. We will just have to wait and see.
Then today, ah, today. Yesterday I noticed JT favoring his right leg. I decided to just watch him to see what was going on. Then this morning I put on his shoe and heard the loudest most painful cry I have ever heard from either of my children. JT was obviously in extreme pain. Being his mommy and putting him in pain killed me. I immediately took off his shoe as carefully and as quickly as I could and tried to calm him down. I called Jake at work and told him something was wrong and we needed to take JT to the ER. I went and picked Jake up from work and took JT to urgent care. God bless urgent care! They are quick and wonderful :-) While there they took about 4 or 5 x-rays of JT's leg. I had to hold my poor baby still while he screamed in pain. It was HORRIBLE! Jake said he just wanted to cry from the room where he was waiting with Ethan. Finally the doctor came back and told us there was no break they could see. Great news! Then what is going on?? I forgot to mention, his foot is swollen and he seemed to be tender around his tibia as well. So the doctor said the ever famous words that we seem to hear much to often, wait. UGH! ok! wait it is. :-P We are to wait 24 hours to see if there is any change in his condition. If there is no change we will go to a pediatric orthopedist and have a bone scan done to see if there is a hair line fracture or anything of that nature. For now, we just wait. The said try to elevate it. HAHAHA! yea right!! I mean, we will do our best but although he isn't moving, he is a mover and a shaker.
For now if you have a moment please pray for Justin. Pray that his leg would heal and the swelling would go down. Pray for reprieve. Pray he can catch a break, a healing break. Pray for his appointment next week and for his first surgery. Pray for the sustaining grace of our Lord and Savior.
Thankfully Jake and I are doing well through all of this. We are thankful for all God has given us including the struggles. If we didn't have trials and struggles how would we grow stronger. If we didn't have these times how would we learn to lean on Him and trust in Him? God is good! He loves us and is forever calling us to his loving arms. We are so thankful for that. We are at peace and know that He is in control. It's such a peaceful feeling.

Thank you for your prayers, love and support.
Jake and Melissa