This morning I was feeling a little frantic. We are now well into our 5th week here at the hospital and prayerfully our last. I found myself nervous about leaving. I think in part I don't want to get my hopes up. We had our hopes up last week and the "1-2 more weeks" was a bit of a sucker punch. Part of it is also the adjustment back into reality as well. Part of it is also my business. I have tried to keep up and keep moving forward in my business while here but let's face it, any time you are out of routine and you have to adjust to a new way of getting things done it's a struggle.
So, here I was this morning, overwhelmed, scared, frantic even over this week. I stopped to pray and asked God to see me through. I asked God, "what do I need to do?" He said "stop and be with me" I said "how, I want to but I have so much to do." He said "stop, spend time with me." I sat there for a moment and stared at my devotional debating. Finally I said "yes". Man, am I glad I did. It always strikes me when a devotional is exactly what I need. today, it was exactly where I was!
The devotional was from a frantic busy mom running from place to place just running, a mom running on empty. Sound familiar?!? It does to me. That's often how I feel. Here a little, but more so at home. Life never seems to slow down and I am always running on fumes.
Anyway she went on to say how she was running, staring at her to do list and hear the Lord say "Stop and be with me". She, like me, stopped, debated, and finally gave in and said yes.
She shared Philippians 4:6-7 " Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
She summed it up as 'Tell God what you need..."
She then began to tell God she needed peace, more time, and wisdom in how to use her time wisely. Then it hit her, Jesus IS peace. God is the author of time and God IS wisdom. She said "God, what I need is more of you!"
Later she went on to say "But the truth I've found is this: The peace God gives is greater than any peace a checked box on my to do list could ever do."
Lastly what struck me with such hope and joy she said "Jesus is waiting on us to unload our cares on Him, so that he can dump His truckload of peace and wisdom on us in return." I am in awe of that! I get to unload all of my crap and in return walk away at peace and with wisdom. Today, I did just that. I went to him frantic, nervous, lacking hope and walked away full of peace, hope and wisdom, the wisdom to seek God, listen and accept the gift of peace.
Trust him today, the laundry will never end, the dishes can wait, stop, sit, unload and receive. Give it a try today. To me it's like my workout - I may not always want to do it, but I NEVER regret it when I am done. It's the same with the Lord. I may not always want to stop and spend time with Jesus, but I NEVER regret it when I am done.
Monday, October 10, 2016
Friday, October 7, 2016
Giving credit where it's due
I have been thinking a lot lately about how far JT has come. Before the surgery he couldn't stand alone, now after 1 month of intensive therapy he is standing AND walking! It's not easy and he still has a long way to go, but HE IS DOING IT!
Everyone likes to tell me what a great mom I am, that I am supermom, that he is doing it because of my support of him. The thing is, JT is doing it because of his amazing daddy!
IF it weren't for Jake, I wouldn't be here, we wouldn't be here. If Jake weren't taking on the world right now, doing my job as mom and his job at work at the same time I wouldn't be here.
Although I appreciate the kind words they really belong to Jake. HE is the reason this is all working out, he is the reason all this has happened. So, if you think of it, take a minute to tell him how awesome he is, take time to tell him he is super dad because he is!
We don't have family here to help, neither of our moms are around to help. Jake is doing it ALL on his own! Thankfully we are getting meals a few days a week and that is a huge blessing, but he is doing it all!
So, when you look at JT and you see how far he has come, remember his daddy who loves him and has sacrificed more than most will ever know for this to happen.
We are a team, a great team, but he is for sure my better half!
Thank you Jake for being you, for loving us so well and for giving so much of yourself and your time for our son, for all of us!
Everyone likes to tell me what a great mom I am, that I am supermom, that he is doing it because of my support of him. The thing is, JT is doing it because of his amazing daddy!
IF it weren't for Jake, I wouldn't be here, we wouldn't be here. If Jake weren't taking on the world right now, doing my job as mom and his job at work at the same time I wouldn't be here.
Although I appreciate the kind words they really belong to Jake. HE is the reason this is all working out, he is the reason all this has happened. So, if you think of it, take a minute to tell him how awesome he is, take time to tell him he is super dad because he is!
We don't have family here to help, neither of our moms are around to help. Jake is doing it ALL on his own! Thankfully we are getting meals a few days a week and that is a huge blessing, but he is doing it all!
So, when you look at JT and you see how far he has come, remember his daddy who loves him and has sacrificed more than most will ever know for this to happen.
We are a team, a great team, but he is for sure my better half!
Thank you Jake for being you, for loving us so well and for giving so much of yourself and your time for our son, for all of us!
our last lunch date - looking forward to our next one.
Thursday, October 6, 2016
Hospital life
JT and I have now been living in the hospital for over a month. It's funny, I was talking to another mom whose daughter has fully decorated her room! She has been here about 4 days longer than JT. We looked at each other and I said, "when you first arrive and they tell you to make the room your own, decorate, bring pictures... you think, I am not going to be here that long. Then as the weeks go by you begin hanging the art work and the cards and the drawings. You realize, you are going to be here and it's much nicer when you make it your own." We are now decorating his room, his door, hanging all of the cards and pictures he receives, because we have been here and are going to be here for at least 1-2 more weeks if not longer.
As a parent I have learned so much being here. There are about 7 kids who have been here as long as we have if not longer. The rest of the rooms come and go. We are already on our 5th neighbor.
The lives of these children have been altered for good or for hardship.
One girl on the floor had some funny feelings in her legs one day and the next day she woke up and couldn't move.
Another patient was in a work accident and is learning to walk again. Another high school boy is learning to deal with being paralyzed from the waist down. There are a few special needs kiddos on the floor who are like JT, having surgeries and therapy to help them take steps in a direction they have never gone before.
I have also learned how thankful I am for Jake and for his company! I do not know what we would do if Jake couldn't work from home! There are far too many children here who are lucky to get a visitor every so often. 3 out of the 7 regulars have a parent living here at the hospital, the other 4 have people either in and out or not here at all. It breaks my heart!
It is SO hard to be away from my other boys and from Jake during this time but I am SO blessed to be able to do it!
So, how is JT?? He is AMAZING! For those of you who aren't on Facebook, JT walked for the first time EVER unassisted on Monday. The Doctors and therapists asked me if he could do that before the surgery, in short, no! He has NEVER been able to even stand on his own unassisted. Now, he can stand for about a min maybe a little longer and is able to walk about 5-7 feet before he is too tired to continue. I am tearing as I write this. This miracle is years of hoping, dreaming, wondering, wishing, praying, doubting and so much more.
JT is also in school here and is doing remarkable. He is reading, doing addition into the teen numbers and so much more. To have him in an environment where EVERYONE believes in him... it is such an incredible gift! Sadly, the school he is in is overcrowded and the teachers are busy dealing with the other children to give him the chance to do the work or to answer the question. Here he is thriving! It's so exciting to see and I hope and pray it continues. I am overjoyed at the care, treatment and therapies he is receiving.
Being here has been incredible and has simply shown me that my faith in my son is valid. That HE CAN DO so much more than people think he can! He has a major fan club and I am pretty sure he is going to be very angry when we leave here. He loves to work hard and he has never had so many people pushing him to be better and believing in him as he does here. I mean, Jake and I do, but let's face it, we are mom and dad and one day our opinion isn't going to mean as much. But to have cheerleaders all day every day, it's incredible! The kids even come out of their rooms to encourage each other, they work together in therapy. One little girl, the one who woke up with no feelings in her legs said to me "if JT stands up, I will too!" They inspire each other, they love each other and although leaving here will be a joyous day, it will be also be hard. They have learned to lean on each other and rely on each other and push each other. Being here is a remarkable gift in so many ways.
I hope to keep you all more updated here, it seems that I use Facebook more and more to reach the masses, but you all have followed him from the beginning. You know his story, his life, you know what this means. Thank you for faithfully praying for him, you are so much of why we are here too.
Blessings to you!
As a parent I have learned so much being here. There are about 7 kids who have been here as long as we have if not longer. The rest of the rooms come and go. We are already on our 5th neighbor.
The lives of these children have been altered for good or for hardship.
One girl on the floor had some funny feelings in her legs one day and the next day she woke up and couldn't move.
Another patient was in a work accident and is learning to walk again. Another high school boy is learning to deal with being paralyzed from the waist down. There are a few special needs kiddos on the floor who are like JT, having surgeries and therapy to help them take steps in a direction they have never gone before.
I have also learned how thankful I am for Jake and for his company! I do not know what we would do if Jake couldn't work from home! There are far too many children here who are lucky to get a visitor every so often. 3 out of the 7 regulars have a parent living here at the hospital, the other 4 have people either in and out or not here at all. It breaks my heart!
It is SO hard to be away from my other boys and from Jake during this time but I am SO blessed to be able to do it!
So, how is JT?? He is AMAZING! For those of you who aren't on Facebook, JT walked for the first time EVER unassisted on Monday. The Doctors and therapists asked me if he could do that before the surgery, in short, no! He has NEVER been able to even stand on his own unassisted. Now, he can stand for about a min maybe a little longer and is able to walk about 5-7 feet before he is too tired to continue. I am tearing as I write this. This miracle is years of hoping, dreaming, wondering, wishing, praying, doubting and so much more.
JT is also in school here and is doing remarkable. He is reading, doing addition into the teen numbers and so much more. To have him in an environment where EVERYONE believes in him... it is such an incredible gift! Sadly, the school he is in is overcrowded and the teachers are busy dealing with the other children to give him the chance to do the work or to answer the question. Here he is thriving! It's so exciting to see and I hope and pray it continues. I am overjoyed at the care, treatment and therapies he is receiving.
Being here has been incredible and has simply shown me that my faith in my son is valid. That HE CAN DO so much more than people think he can! He has a major fan club and I am pretty sure he is going to be very angry when we leave here. He loves to work hard and he has never had so many people pushing him to be better and believing in him as he does here. I mean, Jake and I do, but let's face it, we are mom and dad and one day our opinion isn't going to mean as much. But to have cheerleaders all day every day, it's incredible! The kids even come out of their rooms to encourage each other, they work together in therapy. One little girl, the one who woke up with no feelings in her legs said to me "if JT stands up, I will too!" They inspire each other, they love each other and although leaving here will be a joyous day, it will be also be hard. They have learned to lean on each other and rely on each other and push each other. Being here is a remarkable gift in so many ways.
I hope to keep you all more updated here, it seems that I use Facebook more and more to reach the masses, but you all have followed him from the beginning. You know his story, his life, you know what this means. Thank you for faithfully praying for him, you are so much of why we are here too.
Blessings to you!
The first time JT ever stood on his own unsupported! 10/3/16
Little lunch date
Celebrating the twins Birthday with a Birthday party in JT's room
Hanging with my little super hero
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