Big day

Yesterday a friend asked how things were going because I hadn't posted in a while.  I said they are what they are. I haven't posted because I am sad, frustrated and truly exhausted.  The road is still a twisting winding road. There are little ups and big downs.  I try to find the hope, the light, the joy in life but this journey has been so incredibly challenging on us all.
Last week E had a major meltdown over all of this.  We knew he would at some point.  E wasn't even 3 years old when things like this began to happen.  He has anxiety and he is only 11.  Yes, only I say knowing that an 11 year old cannot possibly handle all we have going on, heck, I hardly can. He screamed and cried and yelled and got angry and jealous and sad.  Then, once he got it all out, and we let him get it all out, he needed to, he said "Good night JT, I love you!"
He's not a bad kid, he's a kid with a sick brother who gets 90% of our attention.  Then he has to share the other 8% of what we have left with his other 3 brothers.  Yes, I know it doesn't add up to 100%, because there are days I don't even have 100% to give anymore.

BUT on to today! Today please pray for JT's anxiety. We head back to the Dr.'s office to get the purple pillow removed. JT is freaking out over it. He is so incredibly afraid of the potential of pain. He hates taking it off for baths and stretching.  Please pray for wisdom for us all.  Pray we are our best so we can be his best advocates. Pray we ask the right questions and that we ask ALL of them!
I am so thankful he is able to express his fears and concerns to me.  What a blessing that is! Last night we sat on the sofa talking through it all. His fears, how he can trust daddy and I to take care of him, how we can pray and ask God to help us too.


I will try to update later today to let you all know how it goes.  Just know, no update means it most likely didn't go as well as we'd hoped and my time will be spent comforting JT as much as I possibly can.

Thank you for reading our posts, for praying with and for us. Thank you for allowing me to get it all out somewhere because keeping it in is a burden to carry too.