Still here, still waiting

So this Friday Jake and I will meet with the surgeon for the first time.  I am looking forward to getting some more answers as far as what to expect, timing... things like that.  I am finding myself in an odd situation.  For those of you who know me it won't come as a surprise that I am a go getter.  I don't wait around for much once I have made up my mind.  In fact, God and I frequently have power struggles.  He says wait and I say why?  I often go and try to do things in my timing instead of his.  Needless to say, doesn't always work out for me.  For example, if I had done it my way, we would have been in GA months ago!  Clearly not God's plan!!! I find it ironic though that there are times when God does give me a choice.  Choice in timing, direction...  I also find it ironic that this seems to be one of those times.  I don't want to make a choice here, I want God to give me an answer.  I want him to tell me when to have the surgery, give me a date even.  I don't want to make the choice b/c I don't want to mess up!  What if I do it my way and screw up?  What if I pick the wrong time and something happens to me or to the baby or to the boys??  What if, what if, what if!  My prayer has been and will continue to be that God gives us clear direction.  Jake seems to have some clear thoughts but I don't!  I hate that! I hate that I feel clueless, indecisive, lost in decision making world.  So, Friday at 11am we will meet with the surgeon.  We will ask our questions and prayerfully get some answers.  And, I will continue to pray and to ask God for a clear direction, timing and guidance.  I will continue to ask for the ability to let go and to trust Him and his plan for me.  I clearly hate waiting and this situation is no different.  Waiting for answers, waiting for surgery... waiting.... it's going to teach me something but why must it take so darn long :-)  lol
Pray for me friends.  Pray I find peace in waiting.  Pray I find strength in waiting and pray I find wisdom in waiting.

Thanks!  I will let you know how Friday goes.