the calming chaos

Sounds strange doesn't it, the calming chaos.  But that is what I am finding these days.  In the chaos of life I am finding the most peace.  This past week was a true whirlwind.  The diagnosis of cancer, Ethan's emergency allergy appointment where he walked away with 6 prescriptions and 2 inhalers.  Ethan's 5th birthday, his party, my birthday, the March of Dimes.... But in all this running around I am at peace.  I am more than at peace, I have been SO happy this week!  Clearly not with the cancer diagnosis... but with life.  I am so blessed.  I am finding that the business of the month and the chaos of my life these days is a blessing from God.  I find that in the moments when it's too quiet my mind begins to wonder.  The bible clearly tells us in Matthew 6:27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?  I am thankful that I learned that verse at a young age and that it has carried me through so much of life's struggles.  No, I don't always remember it and if you were to ask Jake he might tell you I worry too much.  But I can say that I hold true to this verse and know that although I may worry, it isn't of God.  He wants me to trust in him, rest in him, have faith in him.  Not always easy to do, but its a goal to work towards.  
I have to pause and laugh, this blog post has taken me all day to write b/c when I started I got 3 phone calls a knock at the door and the computer battery was almost dead.  Then I got 4 more phone calls, had to get Caleb and JT's lunch ready, feed them, get E from school... Now here I am once again sitting down to finish, I think. lol

Tomorrow I will go in for more testing.  I will have sonograms of my lymph nodes around my thyroid.  Prayerfully everything will come back looking normal.  If it's normal looking then the chances of the cancer having spread as of now is slim.  If there is any malformations then the cancer may have spread already.  So clearly, the prayer is for a clean look, and for normal looking lymph nodes.  Once we have this information in hand we can better decide when to do the surgery.  If you would pray for that decision as well.  It's not an easy one to make.  Having cancer in your body, growing, isn't exactly an easy burden to carry.  But having a child growing and developing is my job to do all I can for this gift.  So pray for God to make clear the path for us to take.  Is waiting to have it removed okay, is it best for me, the baby, the boys, Jake... 
For now friends, I find my peace in chaos and for that gift I am thankful.  Praise God for a funny little gift of chaos!  
Till next time. Thank you :-)