Every day I feel like I am learning more and more. As a teacher and as a parent my goal is to help my children become life long learners. To love to learn, to be engaged in learning, curious, growing, strengthening their minds and bodies. I may not be the life long learner I once was. I can't remember the last time I actually sat down to read a book. This is as close as I get to writing much of anything. But now my learning comes from my children. I know that we all learn from our children but what I also know is that my children are all so unique. I would be failing them if I didn't let them teach me about them. Sounds crazy, I am sure. But what I am also sure of is that God made them to be who they are. He gave me the gift of raising them. They are not mine forever, they are his. They are a gift that I have been given to mold and guide, but he made them.
Ethan is a 6 year old genius. I say that literally. He is one of the smartest people I think I have ever known. With that comes learning about who he is and how he ticks. He is not like me, he is more like Jake. He is very serious, sensitive, focused, scatterbrained, creative, and has a wild imagination. He can learn things before you can, and never forget them. He can follow the directions for a puzzle or a lego one time and never need to use the picture or directions EVER again! He can build things from memory. He can have melt downs at the drop of a hat for what seems like no reason at all. He can frustrate everyone in the house in a matter of seconds and he can read with tone, punctuation, and joy. He loves his little brothers! LOVES them!
I don't actually give this kid enough credit in life. He is not the norm yet he is expected to act and behave like the norm. He receives little grace and his life is spent by those around him (including Jake and I from time to time) trying to conform him to someone he is not. Trying to take away his joy because of responsibilities the world has set before him. He is 6! When did a 6 year old become and adult? When did a 6 year old need to have so much responsibility? Why are we doing this to our children. Be honest, if you could go back and be a kid again, wouldn't you want to? The daily grind, the struggles of work, little time to relax and play. Why are we as a society depriving our children of these precious and oh so short years?
I have spent the last month really learning about homeschooling. How would I ever do it with all the little ones home? Do they all need to be homeschooled? What is best for one isn't always best for another. How am I going to balance life, doctors, therapy...? Ethan is teaching me daily. He is showing me the parent I am vs the parent I long to be. Yes, I believe in responsibility and chores, and being a family working together. But I also believe that each one of my children is unique, different and should be treated as such. Don't get me wrong, the others are teaching me too, but it's Ethan who is making me intrigued again. Eager to learn and to grow. Eager to learn about who he is and what would help him succeed most in life.
Having young children I hear "it's not fair" way too frequently, but no, life is not fair. If it were we would all have drones for children. Instead, I have a brilliant child who tests me to my core daily; a child with special needs who lights up the room with his smile and who loves the Lord with all of his being; a 2 year old whom I pray doesn't kill himself jumping off the roof of a house or go car surfing or any other crazy stunt he is likely to pull; twins who in their own right are so very different. Life would be easy, life would make sense. Life is not fair and to be honest, I don't want it to be. My kids might push me to my limits some days, okay most days but I am a life long learner because of them. I am here to do my best, to love them and to pray for them. I am here to help them be who God made them to be. I am here to learn!
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