Blessings in the storm

Well, I wish I had better news. I wish I could sit here and say that he is doing amazing and recovering better than expected, but I can't.  We tried to pull back on the meds, it's not going well.  He has been up the last two nights crying from nerve pain.  His hip seems to be recovering okay, but the nerve pain is so intense.  He is so tired and crying he can't sleep but wants to.  Jake and I agreed that we tried to do too much too soon.  For the next 10 days we are going to go back to full medication doses and times.

Today someone was asking how he was doing, I said not great. They asked how Jake and I were doing, I said we are tired and to be honest, it's so hard. We are so helpless I find myself getting angry.  Not angry with Justin, but just angry. Angry that I am helpless, angry that I can do nothing to help, angry that I can't take the pain for him. 

So where are these blessings?? You don't have to look as hard as you might think.  Yesterday I received a message from a friend.  She told me that after years of not trusting God for various reasons she started praying again.  I started crying.  JT's journey is amazing! He brings a smile to the faces of every person he meets.  His smile alone can wash away the worries and sadness of the day. This journey is not one Jake or I would have ever chosen.  But then I stop to think, how blessed we are to be apart of his story, his journey, his gifts.  If one person finds Christ due to the trails we have faced then praise be to God!

God never promises life won't be hard or unfair.  In fact, he promises we will face storms and adversity.  We WILL not live an easy life, but we CAN live it in his arms.  We can have strength, comfort, peace, and so much more in Him.

This life, this journey, it stinks! I can't lie. We are tired, sad watching our son in so much pain. We are truly helpless! In our helplessness we have the joy and the security of turning to the Father who can do all things and who does all things for the good of those who love him and for HIS glory, not ours.  We are not here to live our best lives, we are here to live for the glory of God! In that, we will find our best lives and more, eternity with the one who gives everlasting life.